Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
