two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
