did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just want nice things and good sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
