i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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