there was a trapeze. enough said
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize