it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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