I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
