Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize