some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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