You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
