All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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