Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
