Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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