census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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