awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
