If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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