Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
