weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
