i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize