his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
