She said her name was "party"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
