There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
