My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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