i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
