Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no you cant smoke seaweed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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