If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
