you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
