Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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