So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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