Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
