Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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