he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
