you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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