How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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