It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
