She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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