Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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