Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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