3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
