try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
