wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
