I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
