my sisters under your porch take her home
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
