I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
