It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
