capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
