if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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