my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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