I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
