doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
