farters have to be the big spoon...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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