Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
