My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
