UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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