why didn't you poke me back
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
