Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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