I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
someone threw a dead crab at me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
