i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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