Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
