and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
