My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
