Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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