who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
