My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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