Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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