I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
