he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
