first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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